2018: Project Bring Sexy Back

Day 2: Crushed my thumbs on the Pilates chair. Sexy.

It’s January 2 and the second day of Project Bring Sexy Back – my personal quest to get back in shape, which I am clearly out of.

Warning – this is NOT a workout brag.

I was inspired to share my workout disaster story thanks to this pack of gum a dear friend sent as a gag for Christmas. She knows me all too well.

So, the Pilates chair kicked my ass tonight. Literally. Fell off it. Multiple times.

Each wipeout felt slow-motion ugly and probably would have been YouTube gold.

It is currently 3F outside. Going to the gym sucks in January. No lockers, nowhere to park, no favorite treadmill by the tissue box so I can blow my nose constantly, lots of bad body spray, etc. The list goes on and on.

Today, I used temperature as my excuse to stay in. Besides, it’s Try It Tuesday. Guests get in free and the annoyances are 90% worse.

What a great opportunity to use the Pilates chair I bought 3 months ago because it looked fun and EASY.

First, I tried to do this move gracefully but my arms were too short to push the bar down. No problem. I slid my bum up so I could actually push the bar down. (No, this isn’t me, LOL).

The next push turned into a sling-shot and sent my ass flying off the chair backwards, onto the push bar and into the floor. Sitting on my own thumbs, crushed under the bar. It felt pathetic. Certain it looked worse.

My thumbs hurt so bad right now it’s hard to type. I hate that f*ucking chair. The videos are crap too. Broke one disc because I couldn’t get it out of the case.

Maybe the gym isn’t that bad after all. I’ve gone there for years and never once got my ass kicked like I did tonight by the stupid chair for only 40 minutes.

At least there’s plenty of space to hang my clothes until my courage returns.